Meditation and My Happy Place

I recently started meditation, and was surprised by the outcome! Never have I ever been so relaxed. I was upset and couldn't figure out how to calm down, which in return made me more upset. Not even a warm shower could take the tension away. In my effort to relax I decided to take a stab at something new, meditation! 

     Steps on how I meditated: 

1-Close your eyes

2-Ask yourself five questions
    -What makes YOU happy?
    - What does it look like?
    - Is there anyone there?
    -Who is it?
    -What are they doing?

I asked myself these questions very slowly, letting my imagination flow and examining my surroundings. After each question I began to get further from my body, like my mind drifted into concentration. By the fourth I no longer heard the outside world and nothing could disturb me. When I finished asking myself all five I had completely forgotten them. My imagination danced, and when I opened my eyes I felt enlightened.

     What I saw:
Every question opened up a new door to my imagination. There was a field, the grass was perfectly green. In the center it became a hill covered in purple lilacs. On this hill was a arch, not one but two crossing over each other. neither arch was very defined. Between them lay a man, at first I wasn't sure who it was but then it was clear. It was my boyfriend, Andrew. He was laying perfectly centered under the arches. He looked so peaceful, with a smile on his face. Before I realized, he was standing up, reaching out and taking my hand. I was wearing a white dress covered in lace that flowed so magically. We began to dance to a song I couldn't even hear but I knew was there! I was happy, He was happy. Then my eyes opened.

     My happy place is a place where Andrew smiles.
     


#ValentinesDiary

#ValentinesDiary

     This is hopefully the beautiful new start to my blog once again. Id like to just forget the rest of my rant posts and make this a blog i'm not scared to share with friends and family.

     I originally started this blog when I had a pretty terrible argument with my boyfriend, I ended up witting a long sobby description of the fight. Usually I just like to type and say how i'm feeling or tell interesting stories there never is quite a pattern to it like some people tend to have. Some nights Ill post something so grammatically incorrect you'd think it was the work of a third grader, the cause being emotions. The best poems and stories come from real feelings and sometimes real feelings is writing something meaningful while tears are gushing from your eyes.

     I'm tired of saying i'm going to start blogging more often and never doing it. I am usually  confident in my ideas and Ill do research and end up never posting a final draft. For now i'm not going to make any promises of posts or schedules to follow. I've come to the realization that I try to organize where organization is not needed.

     Even now as I write this my hands want to type out a detailed schedule of what I plan to post, But I wont. Whether I plan to post or not Id just like to feel relief of talking to someone who cant talk back, My blog, My cat, ect..

     For my finale I will leave myself with Three goals;

Write out how I feel instead of pouring it out in anger on my boyfriend.(In other words, blog in a less hateful way)

Don't quit on an idea.

Don't push myself to write when I have nothing to say.

#ValentinesDiary