Happy Easter

I love Easter, probably not for the reason I should but I love how people celebrate it. There are so many fun activities to do on Easter. Egg hunting, cute crafts, and of course you get candy! 

Here are some fun things I found for you guys!

Okay so obviously this is pretty simple but that's what I love it!

So cute!

You could even make these with some computer paper and some things you have laying around!

You don't need to look online to think of fun crafts, your creativity is all you need!

     Enjoy your Easter, spend time with family, and just have fun! Sorry this was short but it's better to do something rather than nothing!

#ValentinesDiary

Something sweet for you!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nRHky2jRlM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEyZdwI-DEg

Forever Happiness.

     So for a while I was feeling less depressed. That's definitely changed since last week. I kind of force myself to go to school and I haven't missed it for a long time.

     I don't think I blogged about this but I was supposed to start counseling sometime in the month of march. But we can't afford it, without insurance its 125$ and with its still 65$.So yeah..that's depressing...

     I don't really know what to do anymore honestly... I was kind of hoping I would finally have someone tell me whats wrong with me.

     Twice now I've broken down in the car right before going into school and my mom has had to call the counseling office and have someone come and get me out of the car. Then when we get inside I hear the same damn thing every time. "Hey, you made the right choice getting out of the car, Good job!" yeah great job Emma. 

     I usually feel good going into the counseling office to talk to my counselor but It's been a long time since I went and talked to her because i realized every time I go in with a problem I leave with the problem. Sure I feel good about myself but all they really do if make me feel confident until 3:20 when school gets out. No one ever solves my problems. So just like the past 5 years I still sit with everything horrible thing that's happened to me. I don't want a temporary happiness I want a forever one. When I thought I might get that again my hopes are shot down by this sad reality called life.

     When plan 'A' fails you move onto plan 'B', and when that also fails, you go onto plan 'C'. But what if your at plan 'Z' you've gone through every letter in the alphabet and now your at plan 'Z'. 

What if your plan 'Z' fails..What if the only person you where relying on for happiness isn't there and your alone. Alone because every page in your book is filled with failure...every.single.page.

Do you start a new book? Begin a new chapter? Yes. But HOW? How can you start over when there is SO many things, so many sad horrible things you cant forget. Simple. You don't forget.

And I wont forget.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know where to start.

I don't know who to get help from.

But I do know I'd never give up, because every temporary happiness is a stone in my path to true, forever happiness.

Live on.

#ValentinesDiary

IM SICK!?!

I'm sick..again..! I'm feeling better today but don't know when for sure I can begin my work out!  Hopefully sometime within this week. I'm gonna start from day one again see you soon!

Ps- I have a great blog idea so stay tuned!

My Extreme Goals in Life

     I decided I should post again today so that there is actually something interesting to read!

     This might be a long topic so lets get started!

Lose Weight

There is a pretty obvious reason for this, ha.

Graduate Highschool

Pretty obvious too xD

Graduate Collage

You shouldn't be surprised by this either xD

Become a Personal Therapist

I have this natural ability to help people. I know A LOT about emotions and I help so many people understand their problems even now when i'm 16.

Build My Mom Her Dream House

Since before I can remember me and my mom have been admiring fancy houses, She and I both love the art aspect of homes so I'm going to have her plan out what she wants and build it for her, and I mean ANYTHING she wants.

Build My Dream House

i'm a nerd, no regular house will fit my needs! XD

Own Any and Every Gaming Console EVER made.

Because why not!?

Write a Manga Series

I write short ones all the time and I'm obviously into art so my name being out there as an artist would be bomb.

Have an Entire Room Filled With Bookshelves to Store My Manga Collection

Imagine every manga you ever liked or even kind of liked at the palm of your hands.(MIND BLOWN)

Go to Law school

Being a lawyer is something I've always wanted to do and I'd like to do it some day after I have a stable career I can fall back on.

Raise my Family In France

I've been in love with France and the culture since I saw the movie Ratatouille! Ever since I can't stop day dreaming about being there, not right now, but some day. And I plan on going through all four years of french in highschool and all years of collage! 

Own Cosplay to all my favorite Anime/Manga characters

Cosplay is AWESOME.

Okay, so here are some pretty unrealistic goals.

Buy out 2kGames and Make More Bioshock games

I have an obsession with this game..and it wont die..and I don't want it to..so I fuel it.

Build a Vault Tech Factory with My Boyfriend

My Boyfriend loves Fall out games and it would be sick to team up with the creators to make actual vault tech!

Make a Bioshock Theme park Where You Go Though The Games But IN PERSON!!!!

Again..my obsession is strong..

BE KNOWN AS A BLOGGER.

I want my ideas spread!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay that wasn't as long as I thought xD

Thanks for reading though!

#ValentinesDiary

Nothing sweet 4 U! (Lol)

What a Wonderful World!

     Today was perfect. Days like these bring me happiness and I want them more often.

     This morning I was extremely tired and ended up staying home from school. I was pretty disappointed in myself for that. I've missed A LOT of school due to anxiety, but if I had gone I wouldn't have had such a great day!

     Around 8 I woke up my boyfriend and played video games and talked with him until about 1! I loved this time with him because i'm so busy with life and we don't usually get to enjoy each-others company that often.

     I'm not a very active person I will admit, but I've been feeling more up to it lately! I went on a walk with my dog today, just around my apartment complex. (which is huge) That took me about 45 minutes, and I felt great after!

     Later I then went outside to draw with chalk, and was intending to write 'never to old for chalk' just to make myself feel a little less dumb for doing it :P But..ended up writing 'never to young for chalk'....LOL! 30 minutes into the hour  (4:30) my friend Lexy joined me. We continued drawing/talking until 6:30!

     This may not sound very exciting to some, but i'm usually stuck inside all day, well, I wouldn't say stuck because it's my choice but you get it. 

    So to summarize, My day was full of outside fun!

     Tonight will be even more fun with my bestfriend! I honestly am loving the weather too! I hope it stays this way but I wont get my hopes up!

     Stop reading this and enjoy the beautiful weather!

Something Sweet For You:
https://d13yacurqjgara.cloudfront.net/users/23105/screenshots/274392/go_outside.png
https://kindnessgirl.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/chalk-love.jpg

#ValentinesDiary

     Thanks for reading.ヾ(。◕ฺ∀◕ฺ)ノ

Why online relationships work for me (Valentines Diary)

     I recently had a conversation about 'online relationships' with my friend who doesn't agree with them. I for one have dated online a few times and, of course i'm not with those people now, but usually I have pretty good luck in them. My current boyfriend, Andrew, has been here for two years about. Our relationship has ups and downs like most, but unlike most we are still together, even after some REALLY hard times. So to summarize, My relationship with Drew is very strong.

     I'm completely aware this isn't the common case with some. For example my cousin hasn't had good luck like I've had in relationships. My friend who doesn't agree with them told me about his experience and it sounds nothing like mine. My conclusion is that online relationships ARE okay, and still count as real, for some.

     The reasons why they are real or not may differ from person to person, but I could give you a list of everything Andrew and I share and you wouldn't see a difference between 'online' and 'real life'.

     I can understand the struggle of online relationships, but I can honestly tell you, for me, that I know Drew even better, because we haven't met in person yet. Distance has made us stronger than your every day relationship. He and I have gone through more in these two years than most do in three.

Thanks for reading my random thoughts! Sometimes its just good to write about nothingness. 

Thanks to my Boyfriend, Andrew, my savior!

Thanks to my Bestfriend, Alyssa, who keeps me going :)

And thanks to my Friend Mitch for giving me this idea!

Something Sweet For You:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g34lve9TVk4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v27TRan1SBI

Good stuff you better click!

#ValentinesDiary

Lets Grow Together (ValentinesDiary)

Before we begin I must apologize for my extended absence! My computer is having some problems and keeps crashing, I'm working on it right now but my cooling pad also is broken, which in return makes my laptop crash sooner rather than later. I will admit I don't take the best care of my computer, I play minecraft until my hands burn from touching my key bored and I Skype my boyfriend usually all night every night..i'm surprised my computer hasn't fully died. I don't really want to do a system restore because i'm not sure if i'll lose what my computer has or not? I suppose I should research! Even as i type this my hand is getting burnt and I just turned it on! 

Lets get back on subject! So a while ago I posted a blog called "I'm Tired". You may have read it, if not it was basically my attempt to reach out for help. My boyfriend reads my blogs and i'm hoping my family does, Although I don't think they even check it..which kind of upsets me. But anyways my Boyfriend told my mom and we are now setting up an out of school counselor.

I have lots of friends who surround me with happiness and support, only a few of them know whats going on. My counselor is also another huge supporter in my life. My mom and boyfriend obviously too. 

It's not that I'm sad or unhappy all the time or anything like that. I'm just angry, at myself, at my boyfriend, my phone, just everyone. I don't ever want to do anything either. I have no motivation, I'd rather just lay here doing nothing. No matter what I can't get my body to move, even if it's something I want to do.

I have hopes and dreams, and I am determined to accomplish them but I can't do that with this heavy weight of guilt and anger pulling down on me. I want to get over this I'm tired of feeling lazy.

I think I need more organization in my life, Not that I want to be wired to a schedule but I think I need to be until I get used to doing everyday things like chores and school.

My goals for the week:

• Make schedule
• Make meal plan
• Pick up my grades
• Finish my comics

Thanks for reading all my random posts :)

#ValentinesDiary
http://laetitiavalentine.tumblr.com/
https://www.pinterest.com/asthesiren/valentines-diary/
https://www.facebook.com/ValentinesDiaryHome
https://twitter.com/LovureMeow

Something Sweet For You:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKtsdZs9LJo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhwDxNqWtxk
Click on it! Don't Worry It Wont Bite!!

I'm Tired.

I am tired.

I don't want to get up.

I don't want to go to school.

I don't want to shower.

I don't want to brush my teeth.

I don't want to be home.

But I don't want to leave my house.

I know what I want, but I don't want to work for it.

I'm angry.

I'm sad.

I'm happy.

I just want to sleep.

I don't want to do my homework.

Can't I just lay here?

Why do I have to clean?

I don't want to do laundry, and dishes.

I'm lost...

Someone please,

Please find me.

Find Emmalee puetz.

Am I supposed to tell someone this?

Do I email my counselor?

Do I show my mom?

Do I show my boyfriend?

My cousin?

My friends?

I'm okay. 

Right?

Lack of Motivation?

Laziness??

Depression?

Bipolar?

I just CAN'T get myself to do ANYTHING.

Why....Why.

I don't want to hurt myself. I don't like pain.
I want help.
But I can't get myself to ask for it.
Why Can't someone see this on accident?
I'm not gonna share this on facebook..
I want someone to notice, but ill turn up my TV so they don't hear me cry.

Hair Care and Dying tips (Creative Colors) Part 1

About my hair:

     I have been dying my hair most of my life. My friends and family just love to say, "Someday all your hair is going to fall out." I find it kind of funny actually, considering it's been six years since they begun saying that, and my hair is still extremely healthy. I've never been dumb about it, I usually wait months before re-dying or bleaching. My hair is thick and short but I don't have a lot of it, meaning some of these tips may not apply to you. I hope this is helpful!     

Q: How long should I wait before re-dying my hair?

A:The minimum I think you should wait is two to three months. Maximum of 10, if you wish to keep your hair looking nice with the color of your choice.

Q:How often is to often for bleaching my hair?
Unfortunately at all is to often, after I bleach my hair I can definitely feel and tell how much damage I did. When trying to achieve a light color after having dark its better to use blonde hair dye, not bleach blonde though. Using dye rather than bleach may be less effective but its the more hair healthy way, and will surely lighten the color. The most important thing to remember when bleaching or dying your hair is that, you can't be impatient. If you don't like what your hair is doing after color treating you may just have to deal. If you insist on bleaching then I recommend waiting two weeks to a month before bleaching a second time.

Q:What if I mess up dying my hair?
STOP!! DON'T TRY TO FIX IT! SEEK HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL!Wait, you're seeking help from me? Well then, the first thing you should do is, don't panic! Depending on how badly you messed up, it's most likely fixable. There are tons of ways you could have screwed up so i'll stick to just a bad dye. If you intend on fixing it yourself you should start with a shower. Rinse your hair like there is no tomorrow! Now obviously this wont remove all the color,  but if you act quick enough you can hopefully remove quite a lot of the product. I don't recommend trying to dye again, not even the next day. Maybe you're like me though and dye your hair on Sunday with no room for mistake. In that case, and ONLY in that case should you use the "Dish soap method." That involves washing your hair out with dish soap, as i'm sure you guessed. I know that sounds crazy but the soap will strip the color from your hair. Don't get me wrong it is damaging as well but not nearly as damaging as dying your hair twice in a a row. After washing the soap through your hair, very thoroughly, use lots of conditioner and moisturizer to re-vamp your hair. If that doesn't work, don't dye it. Style it, up-do's are the best way to go unless your roots are out of whack, then curl! Don't forget a heat protection product ! if anyone says something tell them the truth, and if you're committed to dying your hair then rock it, who cares! 

Oh no! This post messed up, half of it didn't save! I feel like a fool now, ha.
My solution, i'll make a "Part two" So expect that! So sorry!

Valentines Diary (Please Comment!)

Today I wanted to have a short talk about comments! I work pretty hard on my blogs and would enjoy some feed back! If you're there and you read my stuff, follow, comment, I want to know who enjoys my content! I'm 100% open to constructive criticism! I would also looove to know where you found me or how you stumbled on my blog, facebook, tumblr, pinterest, twitter, instagram!

So I challenge you, to comment!

#ValentinesDiary

 

Valentines Diary (Inspiration)

I want to become more inspirational. My mother and cousin both kind of lost inspiration. For me I really don't understand how you could lose something so important. I've been searching through space and time to find a solution for them. Here is my game plan..

I'm going to ask them 5 questions to stir their thoughts.

1: What inspires you?

2: How many forms of beauty do you see in just one room?

3: What beauty do you see in thoughts?

4: What do you crave to create?

5: When drawing do you make a plot of what you're going to do?

After asking these questions i'm going to have them attempt to meditate with me.

If one or both cant get into it ill ask them to close their eyes with me and listen to "Lillium" the intro song to Elfen Lied

I've been asking myself, how do I get inspired? How do lines and shapes inspire me? Where does it come from? I'm never sure why something stands out to me or just makes me need to draw. My conclusion is that in the style I love drawing so much, manga, I can relate that shape, that line, or even a scene i'm looking at to my art style.

I'm going to ask them 5 more questions.

6: What do you think is your art "style"?

7: Why do you chose that as your one go-to style?

8: Do you consider stepping outside of your style?

9: What drew you towards your style?

10: Why did you ever draw?

I'm hoping by asking them these questions it will get them looking and thinking at little things. Wish me luck!!

#ValentinesDiary

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Quick Social Media Update!

Hey just wanted to update where you can find me!!!

NOW ON PINTEREST: https://www.pinterest.com/asthesiren/valentines-diary/

NOW ON TUMBLR: LaetitiaValentine.tumblr.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ValentinesDiaryHome?fref=nf

Twitter: https://twitter.com/LovureMeow

Instagram: @as_the_siren

See you there!

#ValentinesDiary

Valentines Diary Surprise

Surprise blog! Lets get in touch with your inner nerd/hipster! These are my top 5 favorites for December and January! If this isn't your thing I encourage you to continue reading! I've found many things in favorite videos/blogs that I am interested in and would have never known about. So don't shy away yet! I'll link everything at the end!

My first Favorite goes to my controller!

This controller is absolutely beautiful! The chrome series controllers make you feel divine while playing, no joke!

Second, and a close runner up for first is my Vampire Knight body pillow!

Having this makes my room so much more nerdy! LOVE! It isn't very soft but has a beautiful clear picture of Yuki!

Third goes to my art!

This is of Zero from Vampire Knight.

Two custom characters of mine!

Fourth has to be the games I've been obsessing over.

I played Bioshock Infinite LONG ago but still love it and have played through it at least 7 times, and am working on the 8th! Bioshock games have a way of drawing you in and making you fall in love.

My Game Rating: 10/10

Yes, Saints Row IV. This game is so epic. You constantly feel powerful.Must play!

My Game Rating: 9/10

The Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker. Now, before you go off and call this game garbage let me inform you, this game deserves a chance. Watch a play though if you want before, but i promise this game is amazing! Also a huge part of my childhood! I'll link a lets play at the end too!

My Game Rating: 10/10

Fifth is the strawberry tea from Wendy's

It does need some sugar but its refreshing and gets me through the day!

Chrome Series Golden Controller

http://www.amazon.com/Xbox-360-Wireless-Controller-Gold-Chrome/dp/B00EFRNG0A/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003032&sr=8-3&keywords=chrome+series+xbox+360+controller

Vampire Knight Body Pillow

http://www.amazon.com/Vampire-Knight-Yuki-Pillow/dp/B005E2WK8Y/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003081&sr=8-5&keywords=Vampire+knight+pillow

Bioshock Infinite

http://www.amazon.com/BioShock-Infinite-Xbox-360/dp/B003O6EB70/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003242&sr=8-1&keywords=bioshock+infinite

Saints Row IV

http://www.amazon.com/Saints-Row-IV-Xbox-360/dp/B00BRQN2EM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003315&sr=8-1&keywords=saints+row+4

The Legend of Zelda, Wind Waker (Both Platforms)

WalkThrough by GalmHD

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLspeOI0YmcdN_E8zF0E7WnMhtgrrGAlK4

GameCube

http://www.amazon.com/Legend-Zelda-Wind-Waker/dp/B00008KTW6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003355&sr=8-2&keywords=the+legend+of+zelda+wind+waker+gamecube

This game is so expensive kind of makes me happy I own one!!! I saw ones over 100$!

Wii U

http://www.amazon.com/Legend-Zelda-Waker-nintendo-wii-u/dp/B002I0GF72/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423003431&sr=8-1&keywords=the+legend+of+zelda+wind+waker+wii

#Valentines Diary

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Meditation and My Happy Place

I recently started meditation, and was surprised by the outcome! Never have I ever been so relaxed. I was upset and couldn't figure out how to calm down, which in return made me more upset. Not even a warm shower could take the tension away. In my effort to relax I decided to take a stab at something new, meditation! 

     Steps on how I meditated: 

1-Close your eyes

2-Ask yourself five questions
    -What makes YOU happy?
    - What does it look like?
    - Is there anyone there?
    -Who is it?
    -What are they doing?

I asked myself these questions very slowly, letting my imagination flow and examining my surroundings. After each question I began to get further from my body, like my mind drifted into concentration. By the fourth I no longer heard the outside world and nothing could disturb me. When I finished asking myself all five I had completely forgotten them. My imagination danced, and when I opened my eyes I felt enlightened.

     What I saw:
Every question opened up a new door to my imagination. There was a field, the grass was perfectly green. In the center it became a hill covered in purple lilacs. On this hill was a arch, not one but two crossing over each other. neither arch was very defined. Between them lay a man, at first I wasn't sure who it was but then it was clear. It was my boyfriend, Andrew. He was laying perfectly centered under the arches. He looked so peaceful, with a smile on his face. Before I realized, he was standing up, reaching out and taking my hand. I was wearing a white dress covered in lace that flowed so magically. We began to dance to a song I couldn't even hear but I knew was there! I was happy, He was happy. Then my eyes opened.

     My happy place is a place where Andrew smiles.
     


#ValentinesDiary

#ValentinesDiary

     This is hopefully the beautiful new start to my blog once again. Id like to just forget the rest of my rant posts and make this a blog i'm not scared to share with friends and family.

     I originally started this blog when I had a pretty terrible argument with my boyfriend, I ended up witting a long sobby description of the fight. Usually I just like to type and say how i'm feeling or tell interesting stories there never is quite a pattern to it like some people tend to have. Some nights Ill post something so grammatically incorrect you'd think it was the work of a third grader, the cause being emotions. The best poems and stories come from real feelings and sometimes real feelings is writing something meaningful while tears are gushing from your eyes.

     I'm tired of saying i'm going to start blogging more often and never doing it. I am usually  confident in my ideas and Ill do research and end up never posting a final draft. For now i'm not going to make any promises of posts or schedules to follow. I've come to the realization that I try to organize where organization is not needed.

     Even now as I write this my hands want to type out a detailed schedule of what I plan to post, But I wont. Whether I plan to post or not Id just like to feel relief of talking to someone who cant talk back, My blog, My cat, ect..

     For my finale I will leave myself with Three goals;

Write out how I feel instead of pouring it out in anger on my boyfriend.(In other words, blog in a less hateful way)

Don't quit on an idea.

Don't push myself to write when I have nothing to say.

#ValentinesDiary